
Your Donald Trump is a loser.
But in prison he can be a winner.
We aim to solve all of your Donald Trump problems
Please read our support materials below. If you need additional help you can chat with Digital Donald Trump.
Need help with your Donald Trump?
This depends. When did your democracy crash? If it was during the 2000 Florida recount than you'll need to throw out your existing ideals and start again.
If your democracy crashed during the "Weapons of Mass Destruction" beta release then you can upgrade to Obama-Care (ignore the drone strikes).
If your democracy crashed because of the Donald Trump plug-in, please uninstall Donald Trump and reboot.
Sadly from 2016 the Republican models were infected with malware and have become Fascists. Please try voting them out.
If your representative has not become infected with malware please try restarting this process.
If your representative is infected with malware please vote them out.
While older generations of Republicans had a backbone, more recent models have begun to return to a primordial ooze. Some think this is in order to better survive global climate change. Others think they are just some slippery fuckers.
By returning to a primordial ooze they are under the spell of a large, orange dummy.
Please contact support and ask for a refund.
Ideally your reboot should have been completed by now. Unfortunately, we've become aware that this has not happened. It seems, and this is true, a melted turtle candle has clogged democracy and prevented a reboot.
Lying is not a bug of Donald Trump, it's a feature. Your Donald Trump can lie up to twice per minute. As an added feature many of these lies also contain misogyny and racism.
The "thick orange goo" is a constant problem with the Donald Trump. We suspect it's an issue with it's upbringing. Thankfully, cleaning is easy. Take your Donald Trump and let it soak in a urinal for about 30 minutes. Once Donald Trump is done soaking in urine you should air dry so as not to ruin its hair.
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Your Donald Trump is a precision manufactured product brought to you by the Russian Federation.

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Our staff of Donald Trump support specialists are available 24/7 to help you with any of your sticky Donald Trump issues.