Donald Trump Product Roadmap

Donald Trump is launched

June 14, 1946 the baby version of Donald Trump is released.

Enter the 1% - 1949

3 years after release Donald Trump is being paid $200,000.

Bone Spur Glitch 1966 - 1972

Due to poor quality control the Donald Trump from 1966 to 1972 was produced with bone spurs. Some claim they were in the right foot, others thought the left.

Forbes List Lie v1 - 1982

1982 was a banner year for the Donald Trump. This year marked the first release of the Forbes feature and enhanced bullshit package.

John Barron Add On - 1984

The John Barron Add On allowed your Donald Trump to experience a split personality essentially doubling the bullshit output from the 1982 release.

1985 - 1994 fake news

Similar to the Tylenol tampering scam this period is marked by a fake news campaign claiming that the Donald Trump lost over $1 Billion dollars. Since the Donald Trump was worth significantly less than that amount it would be impossible to lose that much.

As Seen On TV - 2003

With waning interest in the Donald Trump 2003 marked a major turnaround and feature upgrade. The bullshit factor was improved by a factor of 10 as the Donald Trump now pretended to be a real estate developer and builder on TV. The John Barron Add On was seen as superfluous.

The End is Nigh - 2016

Looking for a way to top the sales of "As Seen On TV" Donald Trump the marketing department developed "Presidential Trump". Initially developed as a add-on for a wrestling doll this add-on soon took over the world.

2020 and beyond

Planned updates for Donald Trump include:

  • inmate update - Donald Trump behind bars
  • self embalm tools - with the popularity of his hydrating concealer this is a logical upgrade
  • Richard Nixon at a Mets Game - this feature is the second most requested feature. It will allow your Donald Trump to sit in an entirely empty section of a Mets game.